Resurrection

Today I plopped onto a hard, carpeted public library floor, opened a brightly illustrated book about animals and lapsed into coos of "beebeebobbibobbi," to the barely contained howls of an 8 year old boy and the wide-eyed stare of a white-gowned baby girl.


Yesterday, I bought 28 cows, sold corn and chilled on the back 40 acres of a farm...board game. I got beat by an 8 year old, which thrilled me no end.

Two days ago I failed at using matches and lighter to set afire a row of "snakes" fireworks. Closely observed by my sis-in-law's 8 year old sister, at last I built a pile of discarded matches, ignited it and finally made those stubborn suckers slither their ashy black bodies onto the bricks below. Twice I moved a pile of smoke bombs until at last, in officially mother-approved spot on the driveway, found a fair amount of pleasure in simultaneously rising tendrils of red, yellow, blue and green smoke. In an above ground pool filled with green water, I laughed maniacally while pumping squirts of water at my brothers and had my toddler in stitches with rides on an alligator floaty.

Three days ago I missed about 70% of the Frisbee throws I slung at fellow Independence Day family reunion attendees. Eventually I stopped calling myself a dumb klutz, started grinning more, relaxed and honestly enjoyed myself.

Dead so short a time ago as 5 months, my inner child takes deeper, giggling breaths and lighter, bouncier steps daily. For the first time in really all of my daughters' lives and half my son's, I have frequent, regular opportunity to be not just parent, servant, nurse, cook, nutritionist, chauffeur and teacher (insert innumerable additional titles here), but playmate. Guess what? Both parenting and playing are loads more fun now. The oldest two are building houses and towers out of plastic blocks at the moment while my hiccuping baby looks on. Who cares about the rain outside? Snacks and storytime, coming up soon. This may just be a happiness rush but I'll take it any day.

Blessings, V