Winds

Similar to the ruthless barrages of wind currents pelting the house on regular basis throughout this spring's storm season, since recent events have radically changed my life, powerful, opposing energies ceaselessly collide with my being. Some moments carry with them chilling stirrings, inspiring persistent cravings for bed and blanket, while attempting via remembered hymn or verse, to silence grating fears. Curl up and forget the world awhile, says Ms. Selfish inside, but Mommy plods on.

Other times the heated breeze, breathed by loving word or prayer, warms my soul. I'm ten again, my strength immeasurable, energy boundless, the possibilities endless, the miles-long list of chores, no problemo. My kids have a playmate, my parents relief, and my calories, cellulite-free purpose.

Frequently storms build and threaten, then rage through my soul. Nowadays, each decision weighs heavy, carrying with it another storm. The doubts and fears of "cons" and the support and love of "pros," colliding, carry more black clouds, green skies, paralyzing bolts and angry rumblings. I quiver and shake in response, but thankfully, the foundation (faith) holds strong and my Daddy (the one called Abba, not Danny), stands by with shelter always open, spiderweb free and well-lit.

Today was mostly, a warm-breeze day. Thank my dear Lord for those. Several friends warmed me with lovingkindness and promise of prayer. Then my feet shed 23 years and zipped and zoomed me from child to chore to meal to errand and at last, have come to rest on recline so I can try to finish this on a decent note before Dad insists for the upteenth time that I "limit my time" and finally, that I turn it off. It's storming outside right now. The pouring rain and occasional flash and thunder kind. I'm glad it's that kind, and not one of mine. My soul is, for now, at peace. It is Well.

Blessings, V