Awkward

So I guess it's just time to let the cat get its official freedom from the bag. Jason and I are, for the foreseeable future, separated. Most of the reasons are confidential to most people, but it's not a decision I take lightly or made without heavy prayer and consideration. I've been overwhelmed by the support and love people have sent and the prayers they've offered on the behalf of my whole family. God is good, every day, through all of this, all the time. He gives me the grace I need on this bumpy, pothole-packed stretch of road, points out the pits and quicksand and lights each individual step, just as it's needed.

Never did I imagine this could be me. I know everyone says that but I can't help reinforcing the cliche. A few years back I heard a sermon titled "God is Attracted to Weakness," and my current situation ever personalizes its meaning. When I am weak, I can take no credit or pride in showings of strength. I've been so very weak. And it's His working in my life that makes me, even through the midst of this adversity, "zealous of good works." He makes me long to look for ways to touch and enrich the lives of others. Hopefully, here is one. Hopefully, you who read can take some piece of useful wisdom, merry soul-medicine, or creative energy-stirring prose and step back from your machine, blessed. If you do, it's no merit of mine so I can only smile at the thought and dare to dream.

Recently, how foolish and awkward I felt when confronted by several beloved relatives who did not know my situation and wished they had before saying or doing this or that. Thus my public declaration. Few enough people read this, I think it's bound to accomplish just what it's meant to and nothing more.

A lot of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes passages in my recent readings have brought back to mind how vital to my personal betterment are the restraint of my tongue and practice of discretion. So hold me to it, if you count yourself my friend please, and should you perceive me loose-tongued and foolish in my multitude of words, a loving reminder is welcomed. "Shut up" is not so welcomed. :)

A great new storm sweeps in to give our gardens another drink and our muscles another mowing workout. Despite the turmoil in the skies above, the black-eyed susans, birdbath water and climbing ivy outside stir not. So sits my soul, surrounded by turmoil but at the moment, blessedly solid, unmoving, at peace.

Blessings, V